Apparently I'm feeling cranky today

I somehow fought my way through the mind fog today to get to making a blog entry.

I overslept again today. Oversleeping is the main problematic symptom of my depression, but for the past 2 days I have only overslept by about an hour (long enough to miss my morning classes, but not long enough to signal impending doom). I am really tired though. Really, really tired. I think that a lot of that has to do with the weather. It has been cloudy for days now, and it makes for rather dreary days.

I feel the need to respond to some of the comments from my last post:

First of all, I am not so shallow as to cry about my hair. My hair frustrated me, but it really was just the trigger that tapped into the frustration from this whole semester, combined with my general need for a good cry, and stimulated the catharsis I needed. My hair was the easiest thing to fix in the whole world, I just called the Aveda Institute (where I got it cut) and told them I didn't like it. They got me in right away and fixed it for free. Not worth being upset about, not even when it was wrong.

What I am upset about is that I am overworked and it is affecting my creativity. I have too much to do and so when I go to acting class or sit down to write, I feel hopeless and my mind reaches for blankness instead of playtime. This hurts when you pride yourself on your quick wit, or feel that you have to deliver as part of a group when your brain is broken. I have not had time to take care of myself as well as I deserve and it is eating away at my patience with other people and my emotional equilibrium. I have not had time for simple things like laundry, showers, meals at home, and enough sleep. The stress has urged me to start smoking more often than I like, and I have gone up to 3 or 4 a day from 1 every other day. These things are all fixable, and if I can just make it to the end of this week I get to go to the Black Hills next week and relax a bit. Just do some research and outlining of projects.

As far as the job front goes (without separating out anyone in particular):
I will not be spending the time up north by myself, I will be in a group of 2 and I suspect that most of the time will be spent comparing maps and getting landlord permissions. I will not be in the same town the entire time. I could be anywhere from the Twin Cities to the Canadian border within any given week, and this rules out theatre up north. I do not know of any theatre in the Twin Cities that only practices on weekends, it is likely that such a thing does not exist. My lack of experience already limits the roles available to me, but if I can't be available on weeknights, it is very unlikely that I will ever get a part. I cannot do this job up north halfway and then quit. It is only 10 weeks, and people would be counting on me. I also don't know whether or not it is contract work, which means that I might not get paid proportionally for my time out of the $5000 if I quit early. If I commit to the job, I'm in it for the whole time. And I'm sorry if I'm being all Eeyore about it, but remember? Too much to do, not enough time, not enough sleep, etc.

Currently, I'm just hoping that something else good comes to me before I have to make the decision.

Well . . . I'm tired, and I need to do 3 writing assignments tonight and rehearse a scene for my acting class.

This shit sucks.