In which Angie deals out advice on being homeless . . .

I got a letter from my friend Leela today explaining that she had chosen, for her own education, to live as a homeless person in the Tenderloin area of San Francisco until Easter. I actually wasn't as surprised as most people would expect, Leela, like me, learns best from experiencing first hand. It did make me worried though, mostly for her safety, but I'm sure that she will do fine. But with her in mind, and fully aware that she won't be able to read this until she has a home again, I am about to dole out advice.

1. Don't worry what all of your sarcastic, world-hating, piece-of-shit (but I really mean that in the nicest way) friends might say about it. Do whatever it takes to learn everything that you want to learn and let the closed-minded stew in their own little personal hell.

2. BE SAFE. Yes, you can trust people generally, but you are a woman now, which means that you can trust that eventually, every male you know will try to get into your pants. (Well, ok, so not every male, but after spending time hanging with train tramps who don't get any very often, if you do more than smile (like even just talk to them) they see that as flirting. )

3. Don't be afraid of the cops, they are your best source of help and information. If you want to stay out of trouble while panhandling, ask them where they recommend. Mostly just beware of falling into the homeless cultural habit of fearing them. They are just people and for every bastard cop, there are at least 2 who take the protect and serve thing at face value.

4. Every day you have 2 goals: eating and finding a place to sleep. If you accomplish both of these things before the sun goes down, you have been fantastically successful. I wish you luck of both.

5. In spite of the general prejudice that people have that homeless people will just use the money you give them to buy alcohol, homeless people use it to buy food, and then alcohol. If you are allowed to have a beer after work, then so should they. (And by the way? Anyone who thinks that most homeless people make anywhere near $80 a day panhandling is full of shit. I never cleared over $20 in a city and that was to feed 2 people without a refrigerator or stove and generally enough to pay for gas to the next town.)

So, good luck sweetie. And I hope things work better for you than they did for me when I was "homeless" (in quotation marks because I had a car). I came back to Babylon feeling angrier than ever at the world in general.

One last piece of advice:
It may seem selfish, but look to take care of your own needs before the needs of other people. If you don't, you will become diminished and will be able to help no one and you will be angry about everything that you could have given freely if your needs had just been met first.

Because I can't afford it, but someone else may be able to help them, Leela works as an intern for Faithful Fools.